Twirting..?

I'm getting predictable. My blog posts are always about one of three things: boys, Josh Groban or makeup. Not always in that order, but you get it.

Anywho, I've decided to finally come clean about something.

I'm over him.  There, I said it.  I guess I really did have to tell him either way.  We're still friends and all but there's just nothing there anymore.  And in retrospect, I think it's best that I don't have any feelings other than platonic for him.  As much as I know there's a good side to him, I'm finally woman enough to admit to myself that I can't fix him unless he wants to be fixed.  And he obviously doesn't want that.  That's why I'm afraid he's going to be alone for a long while.  But that's another story.

On the other hand, there's a new boy in the picture.  I met him about a year and half ago but we never really talked or got to know each other at all.  All I knew was that he was an acquaintance's best friend.  Then, right before I left for San Antonio for the Josh concert, there was a party at a mutual friend's house and we started talking.  I knew he had a Twitter account so I brought that up and made small talk.  He looked at my tweets on his phone and remembered I was going to a JG concert soon after and he brought up how he's a big fan and how he was totally jealous of my second row seats.  Now we tweet and text each other all the time (if you look at my timeline on Twitter, you'll see them.  His account is not private so you can even see his tweets to me, if that tickles your fancy).  Sometimes we're just having a conversation, other times it seems a little flirty...!

But what I really like the most is that he's like me enough to really get along and different enough to sort of balance each other out.  I don't feel pressured to be or act a certain way to fit into a certain niche.  I can be 100% myself and we can still enjoy each other's company.  That's something I rarely felt with the last boy.  We've even played house one time.  And NO, it's not what you're thinking.  We spent the night at a mutual friend's house with another friend one night; he made dinner and I made breakfast.  Hoooow cuuuttee..  :P

We'll see where this goes- I'm not too invested (yet) so I wouldn't be completely heartbroken if it went nowhere- but I just thought I'd let you all know about the situation (and that he has a Twitter, so no boy talk on there anymore..)

What do y'all think?

P.S.  5 weeks and 5 days!

Aha

The moment Oprah announced the 25th season would be their last, I knew I'd be learning a lot through the season.  I always learned something out of her shows but this last season would be something special.  And it was.  I don't think there's ever been anything or anyone to make me think so much, make me cry so much, make me want to be a better, more productive person.  So, needless to say, when the season finally ended, I was sad.  I still am.  I just can't imagine my afternoons without hearing her say something that I needed to hear.

Once thing that have influenced me for a long time end, I become a little obsessed over them.  Not in an unhealthy way, I just want to remember it for as long as possible and get every bit of good out of them as possible.  The Oprah Show was no exception.  So when I saw O Magazine at Walmart, I had to get it.  The June issue has her smiling and waving with the words "For the joy, the laughs, the lessons, the adventure of a lifetime...thank you!" across the picture.  Reading them, I could only feel like I should say the same thing back.

As soon as I got home, I poured over the articles.  At first I was fascinated with some makeover before and after pictures of the show's producers- nothing out of the ordinary for me, but then I saw an article about Laura Linney's "aha! moment."  She wrote about her dating experience(s) and finding what really makes a man.  Interesting, can't be bad, I thought.  She told a story about how she was attracted to and was in a relationship an attractive, athletic, intelligent man with a charismatic and commanding personality.  Sound familiar?  Yeah, thought so.  I kept reading.  

          "But one day, when we were out hiking the Appalachian Trail, we came across a mother whose child had fallen and scraped his knee.  They were both scared and panicking, practically in tears.  As we approached them, my date kept saying, 'They're fine.  They're fine.'  When he wouldn't stop to help, my heart just sank.  I thought, I don't want to kiss this man anymore.  

          That experience wasn't the first or last time a boyfriend didn't meet my expectations.  But I never made the connection between my own choices and these disappointments until I was sitting in my bathtub, where I do my best thinking, worrying about a good friend who was going through a difficult breakup.  Her ex was attractive and suave, everything about him seemed perfect, but he broke her heart in a reckless, uncaring way.  Suddenly it hit me: Charisma is not character.  A magnetic personality doesn't necessarily indicate a good heart.  I'd always assumed they went hand in hand.

          It was easy and natural for me -- especially in my youth -- to overvalue a light-up-the-room personality.  But now I realize I can't expect a friendship or romance to flourish if the person hadn't demonstrated strong character.  Traits like humility, courage, and empathy are easily overlooked -- but it's immensely important to find them in your closest relationships.  Perhaps my best proof of this is how I fell in love with my husband.  Early on in our relationship, I observed how special his friendships were to him.  When he saw any of his friends, he'd embrace them in a big bear hug.  I could see why: He was caring, dedicated, and generous with them.  I thought, This is a profoundly good sign.  And I was right."

Now, obviously I'm not saying you-know-who is heartless or hates children or anything like that; I know for a fact that he does, indeed, have a good heart, but it's the fact that he isn't exactly one to wear said heart on his sleeve, basically scared to show it, that worries me.  It's always worried me, actually.  To most people, he's standoffish, some would call him an a**hole.  But even with that and a few other negative things, I kept interest in him because there was and is something magnetic, exciting, intriguing about him.  Doesn't hurt that he's not bad on the eyes at all.

Until reading this article, it hadn't hit me that charisma is not character.  It was definitely the best AHA! moment I could've asked for at the perfect time.  Everything happens for a reason, right?  I guess this whole ordeal was to teach me that one little sentence: charisma is not character.