Sunk

I'm ready.

I've talked to enough people, psyched myself up for the big bomb dropping and I was completely ready- or ready as I'll ever be because I know I'll be nervous when I hear the words escape my mouth- for this weekend to be THE time. 

My parents left for Houston this morning and they'll be gone the whole weekened, the sisters could easily be occupied so it'd be the perfect scenario as alone time with the boy would be possible. 

But, of course, something came up.

At first, I asked around my group of friends to see who was free, to see if someone wanted to help me do a tiny, totally-not-wild, no-cops-show-up party (unlike last time..but we won't get into that).  Everyone I talked to said they were going out of town.  I assumed the boy was one of them but I figured I'd ask anyway.  He said he wasn't going with them, but was still going out of town.  My heart sunk.

...all this after an amazing choir rehearsal and being in the new seating arrangement- where I sit right next to him.

Later, he called to run a hair cut idea by me and we talked for a little while.  I asked how long he'd be gone; he said the entire weekend.  This time, he asked why and if I was asking because of the parents being gone.  I said sort of, not really.  I don't know if that got him thinking but I hope it did.

I thought for sure this weekened would be the time to tell him, with the convention/tour/concert(s) coming up.  See, my dream was to be together for the convention/tour.  We're talking hotel rooms, charter busses, the works, and walking around the exhibits hand-in-hand was just a blissful thought.  I really, really wanted it to happen but if I can't get a moment alone with him, it's probably not going to happen.  And as much as I know I'll beat myself up about it, I'll try not to.

...not to mention Valentine's Day the week we get back into town.  It'll probably be another one I spend single.

Keren